Update as I recover from grief. Also finally feel better. Long covid has eased. I still have some issues, but , none I can't live with.

For many years I wanted to be something more.  I just didn't have what it took to be successful.   After years of narcissistic abuse I couldn't be the person I wanted to be.

Getting a new life, a new love showed me what love is but after 9 1/2 years, he was gone.  Covid ruined everything. 

I have had time to look at myself,  my life and learn to be a better version of myself. 

I don't need  anyone to validate me.  I am me, I am doing what is important to me.

Being an entrepreneur takes energy and money.  I have neither to invest in that ever again.

Recently I had a subscriber reach out to inquire on a painting I recycled into a new look.  It made my day.  But, I realized at that moment, my art has value.  But I'm not feeling that selling one piece of work will ever bring in a decent income or fulfill a dream.

So I will continue to share my ideas, my arts and crafts, mixed media etc., because I don't want to pidgeon hole myself into one niche`.

I enjoy making shorts and how to videos for youtube, creating whatever I want any given day, then give away those things that make people happy. 

If I make money on YouTube at some point, then that's a bonus.  So far that isn't happening.   Either way, it fills my time, its creative and fun.  

Right now I am creating a little spot in my tiny yard to relax and enjoy.  That makes me happy 😊